You might be surprised to discover that Jews come in all shapes and sizes. When I studied Judaism in college, we just examined Orthodox Judaism. Since organized religion doesn’t resonate with me, neither did this form of Judaism. When I attended my first Intro to Judaism class after my DNA discovery to learn more about my heritage, I was surprised to see a transgender person and several same-sex couples. I quickly learned Reform Judaism embraces everyone. And so does Limmud!
I’m often told to seek out Chabad to learn more about Judaism and I have, but I was treated like I wasn’t“Jewish” enough. Chabad, an orthodox Jewish movement to care for the spiritual needs of all Jews, stared in the 18th Century and became a worldwide call to action after the holocaust. When Chabad says “all,” they mean Jews who are halachically (Jewish Law) Jewish. To be included as a Jew under their tent, you must fit a traditional definition of who a Jew is, Jewish because your mother was Jewish or have converted via the orthodox tradition. I just don’t fit this discerption, so I’ve sought other means to learn about my heritage.
I had the privilege of attending the Limmud Festival in Seattle January 18th and 19th. Limmud’s mission: “Wherever you find yourself, Limmud will take you one step further in your Judaism.” It’s true—they do! The conference in Seattle had 14 tracks with over 107 sessions. Saturday night we checked in and had Havdalah, then two tracks were scheduled. Sunday was busy with breakfast, 6 sessions with lunch, and a closing Singolam. The goal of this 2-day Jewish blitz was inclusivity, connection, and learning.
At check-in, everyone was very welcoming but since I went by myself it was a little awkward trying to find a place to sit. Once I chose a spot, the others at my table engaged me which helped me to relax. There was another woman who was alone, a friend group of women, a transgender person and his friend, and just before Havdalah, an older woman sat next to me. On the table sat a Havdalah candle, spice bundle, and little cups of wine. The large room was filled with chatter and a festive feeling as people arrived.
The woman who sat next to me introduced herself and asked my name. “Hi,” I smiled at her, “I’m Kara.” She asked what my last name was. Now, I’ve dealt with this question before and I know people want to hear my Jewish last name so I replied, “Rubinstein Deyerin.” “Oh, from the Seattle Rubinsteins?” she asked. “Yes,” I’m not sure if she meant my family, but I figured I would go with it. “Sam Rubinstein was my father,” I told her. This was the first time I could say this without getting too emotional. My new parentage has finally permeated my soul enough where I can be comfortable in my new skin. My answer flustered the poor woman though. She stammered through the next few questions about the Rubinsteins.
Her: “Wasn’t there a son?”
Me: “Yes, he passed away last May.”
Her: “I’m sorry for your loss. May his memory be for blessing.”
Me: “Thank you. Did you know Sam?” I was hoping she did since she’s older. I have yet to meet and talk with someone who really knew him.
Her: “Oh no, I didn’t, I mean they were, no… I never met him.”
I was proud to answer her questions without crying. But I will admit, when Havdalah started, I was a bit distracted. Havdalah for those of you who don’t know marks the end of Shabbat and the beginning of the new week. This is supposed to be a multi-sensory experience. Wine for taste, spices for smell, candle for sight, blessings for hearing, and the passing of the ritual items for touch. Rabbi Sydney led the Havdalah blessings and the older woman next to me had me hold the candle. It was lovely—the ritual re-centered me. It’s such an awe-inspiring experience to be in a room of Jews doing something I know many Jews around the world are doing and my ancestors have done for thousands of years. Before I couldn’t really trace my birth certificate father’s family back very far. Now, I’ve traced one line from my Rubinstein family back as far as 1023 CE.
At the conclusion of the blessing, I was headed off to my first track. There were 7 sessions to choose from with topics ranging from the Multiracial U.S. Jewish Community, Maktuv Calligraphy, to Finding Enlightenment through Absurdity. I chose to attend a session called a Jewish Perspective on Star War with Esther Kustanowitz. I loved her take on the names from the movies. For example, Yoda is like the Hebrew “yada” which means knowledgeable/wise. And Jedi is a lot like the Hebrew word for Jew, “Yehudi.” There were a lot more, but that’s a different post. The next track had eight different sessions including, Saving the Jews from Yemen, Parsha Posters Workshop, and Immigrant Justice and Experience. I chose to attend Nissim Black’s performance
This was my favorite scene at Limmud Seattle. In the main event area, the room was cleared of tables and filled with Jews old and young, Reform and Orthodox, purple and otherwise dancing to Nissim Black. I had never heard of him before. He’s an African American rapper who grew up in Seward Park in Seattle who converted to Orthodox Judaism. I was surprised to see he dressed as many orthodox Jewish men do, in the black hat, long black coat, black pants, and white shirt. And he wears Payot, curls grown at each temple. He now lives with his family in Israel. There’s a bit of Macklemore to his style, totally worth checking out. Here’s his song, Eight Flames.
Sunday was educational but exhausting. There were so many different sessions to choose from (about 10 per track), I won’t bore you telling you every session I attended. One of my favorites was a History of Seattle’s Diverse Jewish Community by Howard Droker. I was surprised to learn the Central District where I attended Garfield High School my freshman year (by the way Sam graduated from Garfield), was once a Jewish neighborhood. The geographic shift in the Jewish population of Seattle was fascinating as well as the rich Sephardic history. Someone mentioned a walking tour of Seattle’s Jewish history and I can’t wait to participate.
The rich day ended with a beautiful closing Singolam with Jacob Finkle and Chava Mirel. I’ve heard Chava before and she has an amazing voice. I like her song, “Come.” While I’m not the best of singers, I love singing with my Jewish family. There’s a connectivity I’ve never had before. If you’re interested in exploring Judaism, I highly recommend attending a Limmud Festival. You will be welcomed.
I’m so happy for you, Kara. It seems like you are finally finding your true self.