I started the 18-week Intro to Judaism class at Temple De Hirsch in Seattle at the end of February. Why this temple? This is where my biological father Sam Rubinstein and his wife Gladys were lifetime members. This was a big step for me. I was raised by a single mom in a nonreligious, dare I say anti-religious, household. Although when I was five, I asked to go to Sunday school. I attended for a couple of months until they threw me out for asking too many questions. There surely was a missed sign I was Jewish. I took many religious and spiritual classes in my first couple of years of college but the Orthodox Judaism I was taught by my well-meaning white male Christian professor wasn’t very appealing. I had never heard of Reform Judaism before.
How did I find out about the Intro to Judaism class? Well, in October 2018 I sent an email to the head Rabbi Daniel Weiner at De Hirsch telling him my story and explaining how difficult it was not knowing anything about half of myself. His one line response stated he was happy to meet but had not interacted much with Sam. I must admit, I found his brevity a little off-putting, so I putt visiting the Rabbi on the back burner. I now realize my idea of how a Rabbi should act was very much clouded by my ideas of Priestly behavior. Even though I am not religious, Christian beliefs, which permeate every aspect of our society, had infiltrated my thoughts as well.
Soon after the Rabbi email exchange, I met Zoey and visited Temple for the first time. A few days later I had the whirlwind experience of attending the Seattle AJC Advocacy in Action Dinner. This foray into the Jewish world and my Temple experience made me realize my soul desperately wanted to learn about my Jewish heritage. But, daily of life intervened. We were at the end of building a house and had decided to do the finish work ourselves. For the next few months, I spent 12 hours a day, 7 days a week painting, laying flooring, tiling, hanging lights, etc. When my beautiful house was finished I took a deep breath and wrote Rabbi Weiner requesting a meeting.
I’m not sure what I expected from a Synagogue. I love the architecture of old churches. Whenever I travel, I always visit those old stone wonders that inspire quiet and awe. Temple De Hirsch in Bellevue is a new building with large windows that blur the line between the building, forest, and light. Rabbi Weiner was quite pleasant but had little to say about Sam other than the thought he was likely an atheist. However, he did recommend I attend the Intro to Judaism class as a way to learn more about my Jewish heritage.
Surprisingly, my husband Marcus who is an atheist decided to attend Jewish classes with me. We’ve been married for almost 25 years. He told me if I was to embark on this journey, he wanted to walk its path with me. I was delighted he would accompany me.
Temple de Hirsch in Seattle is a mammoth cement structure reminiscent of some of the buildings I’d seen while living in the Soviet Union. And, there was the ever-present armed guard at the door who was quite welcoming but nonetheless slightly frightening. There were more than 40 people present for our first session on Shabbat. I was surprised by all of the same-sex couples and transgender people sitting around the large U-shaped table. I had no idea Judaism was open to such things. And, again the Rabbi was female. Oh, how little I knew. As soon as I got home, I goggled Reform Judaism to try and understand why the diversity in the room was acceptable.
We went around the table giving our name and telling why we were there. People find their way into the Intro to Judaism class for various reasons. Conversion is the primary motive people attend. Judaism speaks to a person’s heart so he or she takes the class as a first step in the conversion process. Or, someone is marrying a Jew and wishes to either convert or know about their partner’s religion. There are also some who were born Jewish in the traditional sense, meaning their mother was Jewish, but they did not grow up with Jewish traditions and wish to know more about their culture.
I wasn’t looking to convert. As I said I’m not religious, but I’m also not an atheist either. I tell people I am spiritual because I can feel the connectivity of humankind. I couldn’t help but wonder how I would fit in; whether the fact that my birth father was Jewish made a difference? My heart raced when it was my turn to introduce myself. My truth was still so new to me and saying it out loud made it that much more concrete.
“My name is Kara, and I discovered through DNA testing the man on my birth certificate was not my biological father. I am not half black as I was raised, but am Jewish.” I think my voice faltered at the last word. “I’m here to learn about my Jewish heritage.”
